Gently stepping forward.... My heart has been thinking for a while and aching. My hearts desire is to accomplish the call God has over my life and be completly opemed to Him and the people in my life.
For the past 2 years I have been on this journey of allowing God slowly into the deep corners of my heart the ones with a few cobwebs and even the ones i have became comfortable with and just lived life with. I am just now seeing a piece of the light...I am just now able to say okay God I'm ready , I'm tired of living life with these pieces of my heart not being fully touched by God. I've allowed him to speak and i have allowed him to see and touch the parts for a split second then i get scared and close up. It has taken me up until this point to be able to say ok God let's go , let's go on this journey, lets experience this moment, lets do it....I know it's not going to be easy i know there will be many times where i am going to want to throw in the towel and i know there will be moments when i will want to rush God in the picutre he is painting for me ....But i know allowing him to touch every piece of my heart and being opened and vunerable with Him is just the next stone I am suppose to step on....and after this I have no idea whats next but Im okay with that becuase he has the paint brush and the canvas and he is busy painting the picture of my life.
I just want to change the world.......
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Start
Life has never came easy for me. I have never just been handed something or been offered a major position. I have never had life just handed too me instead i have worked and worked and worked....Is that bad no. So why am I writting this right now...I dont know, I just have a heart full and I wanted to type away so here I am.
For the past 2 months I have found myself praying harder then ever and in the processe learning alot from not only God but those around me.
God has placed people in my life for a reasson and over the past month I have become more vunerable and aware of what is around me . It's as if a veil has been torn away and I can see things from a different persepective and in the process of all of this God has opened doors I have never imagined. He has beyond blessed me this year with an increadible group of prek students that mesh well together, love to learn and have a heart for God plus place a lady in my life to join me along the prek journey and help teach. School is back in the picture and I am at a great school with a great falculty that is determined to see me graduate. And then there is a set of friends in my life that pray, encourage, love and push me. They challenge me to go forward, encourage me and give me wisdom when I am at the end of my ropes and they are what i call my Framily...More then friends but not blood so they are a part of me......God is increadible and he challenges me daily. And over the past 2 months He has made me see things like I never had before and I am finally at a place in life where I feel safe and where I am just in God's arms and I feel like I have reached a new step in my life ladder with God and in life...maybe this is what being 24 does but I know one thing I am blessed and excited about the future and to dream and see the dreams come into reality!
For the past 2 months I have found myself praying harder then ever and in the processe learning alot from not only God but those around me.
God has placed people in my life for a reasson and over the past month I have become more vunerable and aware of what is around me . It's as if a veil has been torn away and I can see things from a different persepective and in the process of all of this God has opened doors I have never imagined. He has beyond blessed me this year with an increadible group of prek students that mesh well together, love to learn and have a heart for God plus place a lady in my life to join me along the prek journey and help teach. School is back in the picture and I am at a great school with a great falculty that is determined to see me graduate. And then there is a set of friends in my life that pray, encourage, love and push me. They challenge me to go forward, encourage me and give me wisdom when I am at the end of my ropes and they are what i call my Framily...More then friends but not blood so they are a part of me......God is increadible and he challenges me daily. And over the past 2 months He has made me see things like I never had before and I am finally at a place in life where I feel safe and where I am just in God's arms and I feel like I have reached a new step in my life ladder with God and in life...maybe this is what being 24 does but I know one thing I am blessed and excited about the future and to dream and see the dreams come into reality!
Monday, August 1, 2011
Ahaaaah moments
Have you ever had one of those aha moments in life? The moment when something clicks or you get this all of the sudden revelation on something you have been praying about.
It doesn't have to be this huge profound truth, it could be as simple as someone saying one word and your perspective change on that word. These moments are pivotal in life. One aha moment can change your life forever, it not only can bring on a new perspective but when your perspective is changes, who knows this change could spark that breakthrough in your life you have been crying out to God for!
I recently had one of these moments in life. As I was preparing for a CityKids service I was talking to a pretty amazing 11 yr old, i handed her a pair of glasses and told her to put them on , she looked at me and said no crystal i look like a dork! Her father looked at her and said don't call my daughter a dork, she looked at him with a questioned look on her face. He looked at her again and said your my daughter, i'm telling you don't talk to my daughter that way don't call my daughter a dork, she' amazing and wonderful. At that moment that 11 yr old did not have the same revelation i had. I got this picture of God looking as us and in those moments when we do something wrong or mess up and in out minds we tell ourselves how dumb we are, or how we messed up and we shoot ourselves down, we think no one hears us nor knows what really is going on inside out minds. But God does, he hears everything that happens in our minds including these moments. And in this God is standing there saying Don't talk to my daughter that way. Your my Daughter and I am telling you as your father the one who made you, Don't talk to my daughter that way. You are amazing, talented, beautiful, creative, smart, called, and anointed.
When these moments come in you life take them and don't let them go. allow these moments to shape your life and change you and bring you one step closer to that breakthrough moment or brings on a new perspective in life to where you see things a little more clearly.
It doesn't have to be this huge profound truth, it could be as simple as someone saying one word and your perspective change on that word. These moments are pivotal in life. One aha moment can change your life forever, it not only can bring on a new perspective but when your perspective is changes, who knows this change could spark that breakthrough in your life you have been crying out to God for!
I recently had one of these moments in life. As I was preparing for a CityKids service I was talking to a pretty amazing 11 yr old, i handed her a pair of glasses and told her to put them on , she looked at me and said no crystal i look like a dork! Her father looked at her and said don't call my daughter a dork, she looked at him with a questioned look on her face. He looked at her again and said your my daughter, i'm telling you don't talk to my daughter that way don't call my daughter a dork, she' amazing and wonderful. At that moment that 11 yr old did not have the same revelation i had. I got this picture of God looking as us and in those moments when we do something wrong or mess up and in out minds we tell ourselves how dumb we are, or how we messed up and we shoot ourselves down, we think no one hears us nor knows what really is going on inside out minds. But God does, he hears everything that happens in our minds including these moments. And in this God is standing there saying Don't talk to my daughter that way. Your my Daughter and I am telling you as your father the one who made you, Don't talk to my daughter that way. You are amazing, talented, beautiful, creative, smart, called, and anointed.
When these moments come in you life take them and don't let them go. allow these moments to shape your life and change you and bring you one step closer to that breakthrough moment or brings on a new perspective in life to where you see things a little more clearly.
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